Can't get away from Utah, even in Hawaii
 
By Chris Hicks
Deseret Morning News
 
KAUAI, HAWAII — Vacations are for getting away from it all. Am I right?

But a couple of weeks ago, as my wife and I were fortunate enough to spend a week in Kauai, we just couldn't seem to escape Utah.

Well, on TV anyway.

I'm not sure I grasped how wide a net is thrown out by our fair Beehive State until we returned to our condo each night after a long day of beach-hopping, flipped on the TV to wind down, and there was Utah. Or at least some Utah connection.

The TV was all basic-cable channels, and not many of those. If there had been a movie channel, say TCM, we would have just stayed there and not been surfing (channel, not beach). But we went from channel to channel and wound up focusing pretty much on CNN.

And what did we see on CNN that first night? Anderson Cooper (or is that Cooper Anderson?) talking about Warren Jeffs, polygamy, how the LDS Church stopped the practice more than 100 years ago, how the LDS Church excommunicates polygamists within its midst and how Jeffs' church and others like it are distant offshoots with no connection to the Mormons.

Cooper reported this while standing in front of Temple Square in Salt Lake City. Live.

Maybe he should have been in Eldorado, Texas, standing in front of another temple . . . or as close as he could have gotten to it.

We also saw footage of polygamists in Bountiful! Well, OK, it was Bountiful, British Columbia.

And we saw video and photos that credited the Deseret Morning News, with others that credited the Salt Lake City Tribune . . . whatever that is. (This was a Wednesday night, and Thursday's follow-up stories had corrected the name to "The Salt Lake Tribune.")

Another CNN story on this subject was about Hilldale, Utah, and Colorado City, Ariz. — on the Utah/Arizona border — described by the reporter as "twin cities" full of polygamists.

The story was introduced by Cooper (Anderson?) as "The Twilight Zone." Or maybe it was introduced by Rod Serling (Serling Rod?).

Hey, I was tired. I'd been beach-hopping all day.

Ads the next night promised that CNN newcomer Glenn Beck (who resembles local weathercaster Sterling Poulson, of Ch. 2 . . . although Sterling is, of course, much better looking) would be interviewing Marie Osmond, someone Beck said he just had to have on his new show.

Sure enough, the next night Marie was on Beck's show, with a nice pitch for The Children's Miracle Network, which Beck tied to Mother's Day.

Secretly, however, I suspect he's just a big old sappy fan of "Paper Roses." Or perhaps of Marie's old sitcom, "Maybe This Time." (Yes, she had a sitcom.)

One night there was a "Friends" rerun — with Donny Osmond.

And on another evening, a new PBS documentary about John Wayne and John Ford — with a hefty focus on southern Utah, specifically Monument Valley.

This was getting weird.

The capper came when Larry King did a Utah-theme week.

It began over the weekend with a CNN rerun of his interview with Elizabeth Smart and her father, Ed.

On another evening, he interviewed Donny and Marie live.

On another, Robert Redford talked about alternative energy sources. Redford spoke via satellite against a backdrop that sure looked like Sundance in Provo Canyon.

Coincidences? Maybe. Or maybe it really was the Twilight Zone.

E-mail: hicks@desnews.com
 
deseretnews.com
Originally published Friday, May 26, 2006
 
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