| Leaving Bountiful behind | |||||||
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By Erika Sherk Producer: Laura Moses Capital News Online | |||||||
OTTAWA | Jan. 27, 2006 — It is difficult to imagine leaving your family and community forever. Harder still if you have little education or support. Now imagine being told that if you leave you will be disowned by your family and your soul will go straight to hell. Ben Blackmore left his faith behind when he abandoned the polygamous community in Bountiful, B.C. This is what the boys of Bountiful, B.C. face if they leave the fundamentalist Mormon community there. Bountiful, a secluded town close to the American border, is the only known community in Canada that practices polygamy. Polygamy – marriage involving more than two people – has shot to the forefront of Canadian discussion thanks to a federal government-commissioned report by three law professors at Queen's University. The report suggests polygamy be decriminalized to better address the rights of the women and children involved. But some are also concerned about the the difficult life young men face if they leave Bountiful. Fed up with rules forbidding things like short sleeves and watching television, and caught in the midst of a power struggle between two religious leaders that has torn the community in two, nearly 50 boys have left Bountiful in recent years — a significant number for a community of about 1,000 people. The ties that bind Ben Blackmore was 23 when he left Bountiful two years ago. "I was tired of everything," he says of the rift in the community and the rigid life style. "We weren't supposed to listen to music or hang out or drink or smoke, so we were taught on that line — they didn’t say go to hell, but they kind of made you think that." Blackmore was not alone in leaving. A large number of the young men left in 2002 when the new leader, Warren Jeffs, tried to take power from Winston Blackmore. It split community loyalties between the two men. Those loyal to Blackmore are considered apostates and those following Jeffs are forbidden to acknowledge them. This rift has led to family breakdowns and jobs lost. Ben Blackmore's family was split in two — his father and brothers following Winston Blackmore, his mother and sisters, Jeffs. Knowing either choice would alienate him from one side or the other, Ben decided not to choose, and instead moved to Cranbrook, B.C. His mother no longer speaks to him. Kevin Blackmore is Ben’s brother. He is still a member of the Mormon fundamentalist church but remains close to his brother and friends who have left. Most are now in Cranbrook, B.C. or Sundre, AB. "They decided the easiest thing to do is believe in nothing," he says. "It's a lot easier to just not believe than to get involved in everything that is going on." Easier is a relative term, says Debbie Palmer. Palmer knows better than anyone the struggles of the boys who left. She was one of the first to escape Bountiful, in 1988. She was 33 years old. When family confines In Bountiful, Palmer was first married at 15, to a 57 year-old man. After two more arranged marriages and an abusive husband, she lit her house on fire, took her seven children and fled. Some of her older children required counselling to adjust to their new life on the outside. Since birth, they had been told that those outside of their faith were going to hell and suddenly they found themselves in that exact position. "It was extremely painful and very, very hard work to get through," she says. "It's so hard for the kids. They have to ... figure out that they do deserve to live." "Every boy is taught that by following the faith you can become like God, and to go from that to being told that you're not even worthy of being alive ... it's a pretty confusing and horrifying situation to be in," she says. Audrey Vance is co-chair of Altering Destinies Through Education, a group based in Creston, B.C. The group works to ensure access to education for the kids in Bountiful – where few graduate high school. She says the young fundamentalist Mormons are more aware of their choices now. "There is no way you can cut [the young men] off from the world, even in this cult-like environment," she says. "They see their chance for education. They see their chance to escape a life of servitude." But Vance says actually leaving Bountiful presents serious challenges. "They’re not educated so they're not ready to compete on a level playing field. There is a level of dysfunction because they are not equipped to deal with others and they have a huge guilt hanging over them." In the United States, young men who have left polygamous communities are called the 'Lost Boys.' In Canada though, Kevin Blackmore says the boys cringe at the title. They are not lost, he says, they are going to be just fine. | |||||||
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carleton.ca Originally published Jan. 27, 2006 | |||||||
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