Arrest of polygamist not soon enough
 Warren Jeffs finally off the streets and in jail where he belongs
 
By Tecla Markosky - Third-year public relations student
The Daily Gamecock - University of South Carolina
 
There have been more freaks on the news than usual lately, and I'm not talking about Ann Coulter.

Warren Jeffs, the charismatic leader of the Fundamentalist Church of Latter-Day Saints, accused rapist, polygamist and all-star sexual offender was apprehended by the authorities earlier this week.

Jeffs is a very powerful and creepy man. His church, a sect of Mormonism that broke away from the main church years ago, has grown by leaps and bounds. Now, forming several communities in Arizona and Utah, Jeffs has essentially gained control over hundreds.

Jeffs' charges include arranging marriages between girls as young as 13 and much older men and sexual assault of minors. Equally scary as any of these accused crimes is the fact that he's successfully brainwashed hundreds of people in the age of information.

Polygamists have long been Utah's state joke. And the flagship jester, Jeffs, is finally where he belongs ... in jail.

Although the proverbial horse is long out of the barn, we have to cut our losses and wipe him out of the gene pool permanently before any more damage is done.

The idea of Jeffs in prison is comforting but also comical. What's visitation going to look like for this guy? A carnival for sure - he'll have to go around the clock more so than he was already. The portrait of a pencil neck geek, this is the dorkiest looking dude around and he's getting far more trim than anyone I know.

This case is an embarrassment. It's suddenly clear why we can't find Osama bin Laden. Osama's hiding out in a cave in Pakistan where our soldiers stick out like Martians, are as welcome as herpes and few of the locals can read the reward posters. I can see the challenge.

Back stateside, however, Jeffs begets nearly 60 children, marries 40 women (most of whom adopt his name), runs two fiefdoms in two states, launders millions of dollars, cruises around Vegas in a red Escalade, uses a laptop and cell phones, does look like a Martian and managed to avert U.S. authorities for more than a year!

I'm glad to see this freak off the streets. I'm dismayed, however, at the length of time it took to catch him.

The government has the technology to fire missiles from our shores into specific windows of buildings halfway around the world.

It can listen to phone conversations between you and your momma and read your e-mail, yet it took over a year to find this knucklehead. Let's go ahead and raise the terror alert to purple.
 
DailyGamecock.com
Originally published September 5, 2006
 
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