The not-so-good Halloween ideas
 
By Jon Busdeker
The Huntsville Times
 
Hunter become hunted

Find as many stuffed-animal dogs you can and start gluing them to your body. It doesn't matter if the dogs are big, little, black, brown or purple, just get as many on you as possible. Then, slip on your now-worthless Michael Vick jersey, and show what happens "When Dogs Attack."

Not guilty?

If you recently bought a new refrigerator, this one will be easy. Grab a nice suit, a tie and a pair of glasses and put those on. Dye your hair white. Now, get the refrigerator box, cut some squares in the bottom and make it look like a bathroom stall. Wave your hands underneath it and you're Sen. Larry Craig.

The kids aren't alright

We need dedication for this one. It's going to take acting like trash, drinking a lot, smoking cigarettes and shaving your head. After getting that down, try lip-synching when you get to the party. You're the perfect Britney Spears. And remember, be careful when you get out of the car - oops, you did it again.

I do, I do and I do

If you actually have more than one friend, get them all together. Have everyone wear dresses (they must cover every bit of skin) and you wear a suit and go as Warren Jeffs, the leader of the Fundamental Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. For the entire evening, tell everyone you are a prophet and the women are your wives.

I would walk 500 miles

Diapers...check.

Rope...check.

Pepper spray...check.

You are almost there, Lisa Nowak. Now, drive 500 miles from the party, turn around and drive back. Make sure you have on an astronaut's uniform to help everyone at the party recognize you. That's one small step for a jealous lover, one giant step toward crazy.
 
al.com
Originally published Thursday, October 18, 2007
 
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